From The Trenches Issue: 37-4 |
No collector is simply a collector
My sister Lisa once told me of an icebreaker she's used
when hosting gatherings at which some people are strangers to one another. The gambit is to have everyone say three
things about themselves, two of which are true and the third is false. Those gathered have to guess which is the
false one.
The upshot is
that people learn conversation-worthy things about each other, and suddenly the
room is abuzz with shared interests and backgrounds that otherwise might never
have surfaced.
Slick.
It strikes
me, however, that many noncollectors see Civil War collectors as
one-dimensional, single-minded fanatics. They might expect the two truths and one lie to be:
1. I collect
Civil War artifacts.
2. I really
like Civil War stuff.
3. I am the
heir to the throne of Moldavia.
. Not exactly a
toughie to pick out the lie unless the collector is a bit delusional and tends
to prance around wearing a tiara and an ermine cape.
But the fact
is that Civil War collectors are far more multifaceted than the general
population might think. For instance,
Bill Gurley, who played an integral role in this issue's front-cover article
about Trans-Mississippi bullets might list, "I invented Omnibalm Skin Relief
Cream" as one of his three things. Those who said, "False!" would be wrong.
I'd known
Bill for nearly a quarter century before the conversation veered outside of the
Civil War realm, and I discovered that he is the pharmaceutical wizard behind
the Omnibalm line. (An unsolicited
testimonial: Omnibalm is the bomb.)
In the same
vein, Bill's collecting cohort Meigs Brainard, author of this issue's cover
article, might say, "I'm an accomplished musician" and "I can render an entire
roomful of people helplessly rolling on the floor with laughter." His third entry would have to be the lie,
because those two are true. (If you ever
get the chance, get him to tell you the chili story.)
The Picket
Post's Tim Garrett is another musician in our ranks---he's a popular singer,
guitarist, and songwriter in the central Virginia area, and you can find some
of his compositions at reverbnation.com/timgarrett. You can also catch his act every Thursday
night at Tru Luv's Modern American Bistro in Fredericksburg.
In fact,
creativity looms large in this field, for I know other Civil War collectors and
dealers who are carvers, painters, poets, and glass blowers.
We've also
got climbers, divers, and race car drivers. There are pilots and priests, foot soldiers and brigadier generals, dog
breeders, Golden Gloves boxers, interior decorators, politicians, podiatrists,
professors, and undercover narcotics agents.
In short:
Scratch the surface of a Civil War collector and you'll find a great deal
more.
With that in
mind, I asked some of the article authors in this issue to send along a list of
two truths and one lie. The answer key to
which of the three is the lie appears at bottom.
The first to
respond was artillery specialist Pete George, who sent along this:
1. I'm related to
Confederate Gen. John B. Gordon.
2. I have walked in
a place where I'm 100% certain no
human being had
ever set foot before me.
3. I was a
psychological counselor at a Crisis Intervention Center.
Stan Smullen's three lively
entries were these:
1. I worked in the
pit crew for the Corvette racing team at
the Daytona
24-hour race.
2. I did time in a
Turkish army prison for assaulting a policeman.
3. I crewed on a 39' sailboat crossing the North Atlantic Ocean.
Gordon Dammann chimed in
with:
1. I am an Antietam
Battlefield Guide.
2. I love to read
Nora Roberts novels.
3. I coached football and officiated high school
and NCAA football.
The publisher stepped in with
these entries:
1. I was invited to
play onstage with jazz trumpeter Dizzy Gillespie.
2. I drove 600 miles
to a Civil War show and found out I was a week
early.
3. I was asked to
work as a courier for Mossad.
Mine?
1. I skied the
Matterhorn.
2. I'm related to
Elvis.
3. I have a published
novel under a pseudonym.
The remarkable aspect of these listings isn't that one in
three is a lie. It's that the other two are true. They serve as irrefutable proof that
collectors are a diverse, multi-talented group who cannot be pigeonholed as
mere collectors and are not defined by their collections.
They're also
defined by the other wacky stuff you didn't even know about them.
Here are the lies. Pete: 1. Pete is not (as far as he knows) related to Gen. Gordon. Stan: 3. The boat was 39' but only went from Bermuda to Newport, Rhode Island. Yes, the Turkish jail story is true. Gordon: 2. His wife is the Roberts readers. Steve: 2. He didn't, but we know a dealer who did. Mine: 3. My novel made it out of the slush pile at a major New York publishing house but did not achieve print. Thank goodness, for it was total schlock.
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